Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need them, but don’t cling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.

Make some time for the two of you. Find a way to free up an afternoon or an evening where you won’t be disturbed by phone calls, children, friends, work, school, etc.

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Tell the truth. Communication is much simpler when you tell the whole truth. Even if your partner doesn’t like what you said or disagrees with you, it’s easier to deal with your differences when you’re being honest.

Honesty builds your partner’s trust and respect more than any other quality. You can be great in every other quality, but that won’t make up for dishonesty in your relationship!

Forgive and move on.

Forgive your partner out loud for a shortcoming or mistake he or she made. Be willing to move past it. It’s fine to explain the impact the other person’s action had on you, but also state how you’re going to move past it. Forgiveness invites empathy into a relationship and reminds you that you’re both human. Make deposits in the “forgiveness” bank. Make withdrawals when you yourself need to be forgiven.

Invest Your Time. - Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together. I know this is easier said then done, especially if you have little children. But it is essential for a healthy partnership.

Learn to laugh together

Shared laughter is a surefire way to keep the connection with your partner vibrant. When you laugh, you’re tapping into the playful energy that transcends life’s stresses. When you and your partner make each other laugh, this energy feeds intimacy and life becomes a little less daunting. Make time for mutual playfulness and make fun of life’s absurdities -this will help you both cope with stress, develop perspective and achieve a greater sense of togetherness.

Learn to listen to your emotions

The first step in using your emotions to create deeper intimacy is to identify what you are feeling.

The second step is to communicate your feelings in a way that will foster intimacy and create a mutual understanding between you and your partner. It will always be easier to share positive feelings than feelings that might elicit defensiveness in your spouse or partner.

To help reduce the likelihood that your partner will become defensive, ask yourself the following question before discussing sensitive issues: “How can I talk about these feelings and my needs so that my partner will be open and responsive to what I’m saying?”

Don’t avoid saying what is in your heart or on your mind to say. Say it! It will go a long way to deepen your intimacy!

Don’t hide your worries because you don’t want him to know that you are not in control. Share them! Watch the intimacy between you soar!

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No problem is too trivial if it keeps you away from each other. The worst thing that you can do is to let the problem linger and pile up. To let resentment and tension rise within you until you explode with anger at each other. Tell your partner in the most diplomatic way if there is an issue that irritates you. Character assassination is the most horrible thing that you can do to your partner. When confronting, directly trigger the act not the person. However, there are some couples that let the “heat” die down before confronting. When the emotions are too raw they would rather let it heal for a while before discussing the issue.

Quality of life matters. Luckily for us, love and intimacy are renewable resources that actually increase through use. The more we allow and enjoy love and intimacy, the more we are nourished at the core of our being.

There are many factors that help sustain a relationship: kindness, respect, attention, caring, communication, tolerance, humor, the sharing of activities and life experiences. A relationship can be sustained and enjoyed when these resources are present. And then there’s sex. The intimacy that arises from meaningful sexual connection gives a relationship a whole other level of sustainability. Beyond just existing as a couple, we radiate love into the universe, returning and replenishing that which has made our own hearts sing.